By Sabrina LaVopa, Editor-in-Chief, UF Sparks Magazine
Summer is in the air this June! As I (and hopefully many of you as well) get ready for days spent reading at the beach and long road trips at sunset, I find myself reflecting more and more on the significance of this month.
June, following on the tail-end of May’s Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month, is Pride Month, a time to celebrate all gender identities, sexual orientations, and expressions of one’s self. However, for myself and many other LGBBTQ+ individuals within the AAPI community, this month can also be a time of anxiety and worry over how our families and friends will react to us.
While historically Asian cultures and societies have accepted and held space for what we now call the LGBTQ+ community, in many cases modern viewpoints have eliminated or restricted this representation of our history. Because of this, many Asian Americans feel pressured to conform to the expectations of Western society by hiding aspects of themself deemed less acceptable, such as expressions of gender and sexuality that don’t conform to Western values.
Growing up in a small suburban town in Florida, I was surrounded by such expectations and values. Often being the only Asian student in my classes caused me to feel ashamed of my family and identity. This shame was only multiplied when I started experimenting with my gender presentation and sexuality. Now, not only was I a target because of my race, but also because of my identity as a visibly queer individual.
These facets of myself caused enough problems for me on their own, but when combined, I felt like the black sheep wherever I went. In Asian spaces, I felt like I had to hide my sexuality in order to be accepted by friends and family. But in LGBTQ+ spaces, I felt like I had to hide my Asian background in order to be fully understood. At times, I felt utterly alone in my identities.
Fast forward about half a decade and one high school graduation later, and I can pretty confidently say that I’ve made peace with who I am and who I identify as. One of the biggest factors that helped me was finding a community of people like myself, who embodied two different worlds yet somehow made peace with each. Joining organizations that are dedicated to celebrating diversity, equity, and inclusion within the Asian American identity has given me the support I need to exist as my most authentic self! Throughout the past few years, with the help of friends and family alike, I have found that I can exist in multiple spaces at once without limiting who I am in any of them.
Existing at these intersections my whole life has made me more open to different identities and ideas. When visiting relatives in both Taiwan and the US, I was never American enough, but also never Asian enough, to fit into either box neatly. On top of that, once I started questioning my sexuality, I found yet another box that I didn’t want to fit into. However, the strength and support of other LGBTQ+ Asian Americans helped me to see that I never needed to choose one or the other. Instead, I was able to open my eyes to the possibilities that exist living as the most authentic me.
As we go into June and celebrate Pride Month, let us not forget the importance of our community and culture. For me, being proud and expressing my pride means celebrating every aspect of my identity. It means being unashamedly Asian in LGBTQ+ spaces and loudly LGBTQ+ in Asian spaces. It means understanding others who embody intersecting identities and elevating their voices in AAPI spaces. It means celebrating the communities and individuals around me who in turn celebrate diversity and inclusion throughout their lives.
Happy Pride Month to all!
